Thursday, July 19, 2012

10 Morphological Reasons Why Humans Are Not Intelligently Designed

If we really were intelligently and lovingly designed by a divine entity, then humans should be able do many things which other animals can do in nature without the need for physical tools to inhabit or exploit a niche.

Here are my personal top ten things I wish humans could do now. I invite you to create your own Homo Sapain Sapian 2.0, so please add to my list. Watchmaker in the sky, if you're reading this, it would be really excellent to have:

1.     Better lungs.  Sure, lungs are central for breathing, but we can’t sustain more than about 90 seconds before needing air or we black out. Can you imagine having additional air sacs attached to our lungs so that we could sustain higher altitudes and keep air circulating in our bodies more efficiently – most birds have this ability

2.     The ability to regrow lost or damaged limbs. Lose a body part? Grow it back. Simple. Worms can do it, why wouldn’t god let humans have the same ability? What makes worms so special?

3.     Gills. Wouldn’t you love to dive into a pool or the ocean and remain under water for hours or days? At their most rudimentary gills extract oxygen from the water. If we tried to dive without scuba gear, we’d last only a few minutes before needing to swim up to take in oxygen. We need gills like the kind Kevin Costner evolved at the end of the ill-fated film, Waterworld.

4.     Multiple sets of teeth. We go through baby teeth so there is an evolutionary precedence to replace one set of teeth with an adult set of emerged bone through our gums. Sharks can grow new teeth over the course of their lives and have multiple rows of teeth. Humans should have that same ability. So long dental bills.

5.     Stronger spines and knees. Bi-pedalism may have allowed us to grow big brains, binocular and stereoscopic vision, tools, language and culture, but walking on two feet is a terribly slow and inefficient form of locomotion. I urge you to go into a room and do a quick survey of who has back and walking issues. I unscientifically estimate 8 of 10 people will complain to you about their lower bodies or will have had surgery to “correct” damaged bone.

6.     Flight. Bats are mammals and they can fly! Why not humans?  Enough said.

7.     All-around better senses. All of our senses are dulled because we’ve developed big brains to replace the need for a reliance on deeper and better sight, smell, hearing or sensing air changes within the environment to judge space and danger. Birds, dogs, snakes and a host of animals can, and in some cases, use their highly attuned senses as a form of precognition. Wouldn’t it be great to know what was around the corner before you spilled that hot latte on yourself after bumping into the delivery guy?

8.     Tails and also opposable toes on our feet. Old-World moneys can use their tails to hang or help themselves climb. This also frees up their hands and feet to grab food or make nests, etc. The Great Apes have opposable digits on their feet that allow them to use their feet like a second pair of hands.  Think of the efficiency if we humans could use our feet like hands. That’s 2x the texting, typing, meal preparation or PlayStation time.

9.     A re-designed heart. Blood circulation follows one final path (vena cava) into the heart and goes out one way (aorta) as well. What if we had multiple entrances and exits for de-oxygenated and oxygenated blood flow? Not only would we need to worry less about the heart getting clogged or valve failures, but the extra avenues of blood flow would make the muscle so much stronger and efficient.

10.  Avoid cancer, ALS, Alzheimer’s, Sickle Cell Anemia, Birth defects, Tay-Sachs, etc. Hey god, if you’re listening and if you created this mess, why kill off your flock by creating damaged cells, random mutations or degrading biological processes which destroy the very thing which you made perfect and in your own image? Seems like you’re a bit homicidal towards your alleged favorite species.

Of course humans evolved from ancestral primates based on natural selection and the random mutation of their genome. Primates evolved from other mammals, which themselves evolved from species going back in time to the primordial soup and the beginnings of organic life on the planet. We humans share many features (we are chordates, we have internal fertilization, have endoskeletons, milk glands) with other species up and down the taxonomic order. 

However, as higher primates evolved, we gave up in whole or in part abilities (although we cannot discount vestigial organs) in favor of our current morphology and huge brains to exploit our environment without the need for anatomical features used by other animals.

Now, we know that the ID folks may wish to twist these physical traits and focus on our brain and our ability to use tools as proof of divine creation. Except we have evidence that the human brain evolved just as our bodies evolved into the current structures and that through understanding evolution, no evidence for a designer is apparent. We also know that combining science with theology is essentially mixing oil and water. Science demands evidence to explain natural phenomenon  while theology demands acceptance of magical thinking. And while scientists are not in the business of selling hope, the clergy and their allies are, especially if you combine hope with their particular brand of theology.

Perhaps this is why most secularists and non-theists who appreciate science are acutely aware of how truly fragile our species is and how our actions can harm our very fragile planet.  We are connected to all things and all things are connected to us. I don’t mean this in a spiritual way but as a form of cosmic obligation since we have evolved these big brains and a level of consciousness which holds us accountable for our actions to each other and the Earth.

If we accept the idea that we are the current dominant species, at least for now anyway, then we must accept this as a duty to protect rather than destroy ourselves and the ecosystems of the planet.  Because if we do not act as caretakers but rather like self-entitled trust fund babies, then nature will have the last unconscious laugh at our expense.

And we will not be given a second chance since extinction is FOREVER.


  1. Excellent article! I think you should submit it to the American Atheists magazine so it can go nation wide and be read by the general public.

  2. I too enjoyed the article, thank you and other free thinkers for not becoming or avoiding becoming indoctrinated. Everyone I am around on a daily basis is and it truly hurts to see fellow humans deny evidence based on belief with little or no facts attatched to it.